Dirty Girls

I figured I'd share this on here, and maybe talk about some thoughts I had in regards to it. It's a short film documentary about a group of girls who were outcasts in their school just for not following the trends and actually bothering to be themselves.

From the description, "Shot in 1996 and edited in 2000, this is a short documentary about a group of 13-year-old riot grrrls in Los Angeles who were socially ostracized at their school by their peers and upperclassmen. Everyone in the schoolyard held strong opinions about these so-called "dirty girls," and meanwhile the "dirty girls" themselves aimed to get their message across by distributing their zine across campus. Directed by Michael Lucid. Music: "Batmobile" by Liz Phair."

It starts off with people talking about how horrible and disgusting they think these girls are for not following standard protocol for how one is supposed to dress and act, and then the girls start talking about what they are really doing and what they think about things, and luckily they do have some support from people who get them. Then they go on to talk about their feminist ideals and show their zine, Sour Grrrl, with a lot of people talking about how stupid they think it is.

This clip was relatable to me because, while I don't think I really was an outcast in the physical sense with people treating me that way, I always felt like an outcast based on what other people would say, which basically was everything the people who didn't like these girls were saying, and I basically have always thought like the dirty girls do and agree with what they have to say. When first starting to watch it, I wanted to slap all those jerks who acted like they were so disgusting, as if you have to be totally preppy and popular and dress "nice" and shower all the time, and I was worried the documentary would be in favor of these people and basically about how horrible these girls are, but then I love it when the girls themselves said what they had to say and the girls who weren't part of their group  but liked them and "didn't give a shit" said what they had to say as well. Then I could see it was basically just capturing everyone's reaction to them and actually supporting them, as they were unfairly alienated just for being different.

I also didn't like how everyone acted like all they were doing is rebelling, or wanted attention, because they were doing no such thing, and I myself hate it when people do that. They were honestly just being themselves and sticking to their values and integrity in a world where you are assumed to dress properly and whatnot. I hate it when people confuse being yourself with rebellion, as if there's some set standard and anyone different from that MUST be rebelling as if you can't just honestly be different, because it has that false sense of "Everyone is this way, it's written in stone that everyone always happens to be this way, if you're not then you are purposely defying your true nature just to get attention." The truth is that everyone is different (well obviously you can't be totally and completely different from everybody) but there is no thing where people just are a certain way, and anyone else must be rebelling against that. We come in all sorts of everything. Some people like this, some people like that, some people like the other, some people like none of it, some people like all, some people like a mix etc. etc. and while I do hate it when people do purposefully rebel, try to act "cool" or "different" or "tough", since rebellion is just as conformist as conformity as they are two sides to the same coin, it becomes clear that these girls are not doing that and they honestly just want to be themselves. Heck, I didn't think there was anything wrong with their clothes, and I shared their ideals, and it's not everyone likes to shower all the time anyway (though one thing was that they were falsely being labelled as dirty and smelly when they did shower, just because it became a stereotype, and people kept assuming things and judging them without even knowing them, just based on hearing the rumors of what they were like) so it's not so hard to realize that these girls could actually just be like that. They're pretty much your standard grunge/riot grrrl.

So I would like to ask people to please not confuse being yourself with rebellion. Rebellion is reactionary just like conformity. You are playing by the opposite of someone else's rules,  and not your own. You have to be rebelling AGAINST something, which proves if you just happened to be that way and weren't even paying attention to other people's standards, you aren't rebelling. The only reason individuality gets confused for rebellion is because people who happen to conform easily only can see it from their view, like I've said before, they think everything they subscribe to is just how it's supposed to be and anyone who happens to be different isn't really different but TRYING to be different as if there's a set definition for all humanity, and some of them were probably brainwashed themselves into the "you have to do what's popular" type of culture, which actually makes them hypocritical because they are claiming that it's bad for people to act different when they themselves are acting different from their true selves by conforming to what is currently trendy or what other people say the should be, and it's always going to be better to be yourself anyway. It also reminds me of how realists get pegged as cynics by optimists because they are looking at it from their view and ironically only can see the bad things out of people talking about the good and bad, so since they have to have everything happy and good all the time, anyone saying anything remotely disturbing or sad to them MUST only be thinking of bad things in life (which is actually said by someone in the clip). Just because you are talking about something that may not be considered sunshine and roses doesn't even mean that you consider what you are talking about really bad in the first place, and it doesn't mean that all you think of is bad things, or that you are depressed, or cynical, or trying to be different. It's better to not have the wool over your eyes anyway. I also always noticed this with the characters Darlene from Roseanne, and Daria from Daria. Everyone in the shows acted like they were so depressed and dark, total "misery chicks", yet I never once saw them that way. Though with Daria they did hint at how silly that was (seriously, watch that show if you haven't, and the episode Misery Chick really explains it.)

Another thing I noticed about this video was that it was shot in spring of 1996, and these girls basically are your standard grunge/alternative/riot grrrls, and grunge was huge at the time, yet they were totally ostracized and everyone acted like they were trying to be different. I would expect that everyone at that school would be the same as them, since that was the big thing then, but I have a feeling it was more of a preppy/rich school, especially since everyone else acted like preps. Perhaps if they had gone to another school they would have fitted in better. Oh and I'm a riot grrrl myself, so I also liked their feminist views and thought the zine was cool, and I LOVE the song that is playing during the whole thing. Batmobile by Liz Phair. I'm going to have to check out more of her stuff.

This is Not My Generation Part 3

Well really a big thing is finding out that all your favorite musicians died. It's bad enough that you have to find out that Kurt died, but then you find out that Andrew Wood did too, and so did Layne Staley, and Mia Zapata, and Stefanie Sargent, and Shannon Hoon, and Ben Mcmillan etc. And then Mike Starr just died, which was really sad because it was not too long ago and while I actually knew who he was, and he was in his 40s! Everyone expects the young rockers to die, and die from drugs, because it's the stereotype and everyone knows kids live fast and all that, but no one really expects the middle-aged people to die. It's like wow, even if you get over a thing like drugs in your youth, you're never really over it, and it can hit you at any time. It's like all of your favorite musicians are dropping like flies right before your eyes, though most of them before you even knew who they were, but they KEEP dying! I hate that. Right before Mike Starr died, Rick Kulwicki, the guitarist of The Fluid died, and then back in 2008 Ben McMillan of Skin Yard and Gruntruck died, and then I think Layne was the one before that back in 2002, but it feels like they never stop dying, and I'm too young to have all my idols die so fast, and they're still too young to die. I'm only 21, and they are only in their 40s! They shouldn't even be dying for another 40 years and yet they started 20something years ago at the age of 24(Andy Wood)! 24 is way too young to die! I'll be that age in just a few years. I don't blame the guys themselves for their habits though, if they were one of the ones who died from it (some had weird/random circumstances like Mia being murdered and Rick dying with something wrong with his heart). I don't know why we're supposed to care that they are "rockstar junkies." I mean I think it's sad and all, but it doesn't change the way I think about them. It's just sad that they end up being beaten by it.

Well, one good thing about this generation is getting to relate to all the other outcasts and modern grungers. When I was little and first starting to feel like an outcast of the modern times, I thought that I was different, but a lot of times I actually liked that. I was never the kind of person that felt like we need people and will die without friends or if we aren't part of a group and everyone feels the need to fit in with a group. Then grunge came along and I realized it's cool to be part of a group as well. It was actually awesome being part of something bigger than yourself, and being around people that are a lot like you. Recently I've been thinking about how wild and cool it is to grow up and see all these modern grunge bands that are around my age. It's great to like grunge in general, but now I think I get it a bit more, with the whole being a part of your generation, and being around people that are going through what you are going through. It's cool to realize there are other young grungers today that probably have felt like an outcast as well. The old grungers will always have a special place in my heart, but there's nothing like ragging on your own generation with people your age that are interested in the same things you are and get to sarcastically laugh at the world with. It helps to think of the other modern grungers as your generation, so that you can actually feel like your generation isn't so bad, and, heck, the outcasts always end up rising up and becoming the generation eventually, so we might end up being that anyway. I used to hate it when people always refer to grunge as a generation X thing, and I still do, because I can relate to them a lot, and of course it never went away, but now I get it a little bit more as it is cool being around people that grew up with the same stuff you did and who are your age, and feeling like you're on the same wavelength. It's great that other kids can get what I'm going through, because they're going through it too. Ha, I was watching an interview from maybe a year ago recently for Pissed Jeans, and the frontman was talking about how they started when they were 13 and they're 19, 20 now, and I'm like "WHOAA, they're MY age!!!" I guess I was so used to my favorite bands being my parents age or a little older, that it just caught up on me, but yeah most bands do seem like the members are in their early and mid 20s, so it would be about time. Here's to growing up with this generation of grunge, and feeling connected to these people.

The funny thing is how much of a difference real life is to the internet. You can find buttloads of modern grungers on the internet, like there's a whole world of us out there, so much that it feels like there are millions or billions of us out there, and then in real life, nothing. It's hard to find people who have even heard of grunge in real life (well, at least for people under 30), let alone who follow it. Yet it still is the genre for 20somethings and teens. Most of the people on the grunge forum and other online grunge sites are in their teens or twenties. Heck, the dude who runs grungereport.net is my age. It's as if it stayed the same but the world changed around it. Luckily some middle-aged people are still into it, but I wish there were more, as I've always expected to see long-haired 40somethings wearing Nirvana shirts walking around town, and I've had no such luck.