Friday, October 19, 2012

Skinny Bashing

Ok, this one also is not about grunge, but I really need to get this out and I'm sure the rest of my posts will be on topic. I posted this on a page I help admin, Stop the Skinny Bashing

Grrr, I came across a "Yes there is skinny bashing but it's not the same and you people are still really privileged and now let me tell you all the troubles I have to go through while ignorantly assuming that doesn't happen to thin people as well so that I can say I have more pain than you" type of thing, well actually I've come across a few of these recently, and it's making me mad! It's sad that people still think skinny is still looked at as oh so beautiful, when everyone saying it's not proves it isn't. I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable in your body, I really am, that is sad, I was always for that side, but to say that never happens to thin people so you win for having more body troubles and they are privileged is just IGNORANT. 

I have heard of lots of thin people who "every singe day are uncomfortable in their bodies and uncomfortable in their clothes" and who make sure to wear baggy clothing or layers to hide their thinness just like how you buy bigger clothes if you feel uncomfortable if you have a muffin top. I have seen prostitutes in shows who are ALWAYS portrayed as thin drug addicts who look disgusting both because of their thin bodies and their drug-addict faces, as well as having "low self esteem" because they are "emaciated, cracked out whores." I have heard of skinny girls being "easy" because they are dumb bimbos that men want. I have DEFINITELY heard people ask someone "have you gained weight?" as a compliment. For one thing, I always hear about someone being there for someone if they are big and get bashed, for another I have never heard of someone being there for a skinny person if they get bashed (or rater "rarely" if you consider anti-skinny-bashing pages), only people who join in, or say that it's not really bashing because "skinny is looked at as beautiful, and you must only be skinny by means of trying to be skinny and must have only tried to be skinny because you wanted to look good like the beauty of the media, so since you're shallow you can't be hurt by that because it will be considered acting like "hot girls have problems too"". I have DEFINITELY heard people say food tastes way better than skinny feels. When some thin people take a picture in the wrong angle, they do feel absolutely too thin. I have DEFINITELY seen everyone automatically assume that a skinny person is unhealthy, or must have starved themselves etc.. I have DEFINITELY seen tons of photos of celebrities where if they are skinny, people only concentrate on that and how ugly they look because of it, and saying they "need to eat a cheesburger". Skinny people (me personally) DO feel guilty for skipping out on meals, because everyone acts like we have to eat properly or else be unhealthy. Skinny girls DO look in the mirror and want to be like the 'pretty, chubby girls" or hate that they are "skin and bones". 

Luckily, I haven't seen all that much lately that has a bigger person where they can't go without making them out to be the "bigger person who maybe has to always eat", the main one being Bunheads (and this really pissed me off, but perhaps they were being satirical of how messed up people can be) where there was a girl who wasn't even chubby who was called fat and made to be that type of person who has to crave food, so yes that sucks, but I have always seen movies or shows where the character, if they are skinny, is made out to be either bulimic or anorexic, or a super weight-obsessed calorie counter who has to refuse all junk food, or a shallow person (yeah like bigger people can't ever be shallow, remember there's always that stereotype out there, the bitchy/shallow airhead ones are always portrayed as being thin, and this goes both ways as they always portray the bigger girl as being caring because they grew up more modest, so yeah there's your point and that does suck majorly). There are waaay more but it's late and this is long enough and you get the gist anyway. For each of these "You don't know what this is like if you're skinny because this only happens to bigger people" we've all seen how it definitely does happen to skinny people, and they just need to open their eyes. It is NOT ok to be playing "Well I have it worse than you so your pain doesn't matter and you are privileged  so get over it." Even if there ever was one side that had a lot more crap than the other (actually I've always noticed that there is way more skinny bashing what with the hypocrisy and double standards of not being allowed to call bigger people names, tell them they need to stop eating, assume they are unhealthy etc., but it's ok to call skinny people names, say they are so ugly, say they need to "put meat on their bones" or "eat a cheesburger", say that only curvy women are real women or only curvy women are beautiful or men only want curvy women and "bones are for the dogs", or assume they are anorexic  bulimic  or unhealthy,  etc., and I hear this ALL the time which makes me think people must have been hit in the head to think that skinny is looked at as good in this day and age, but that's not exactly the main point of the post, but it's still important to realize, oh and of course only big people problems and bullying get exposed in the media, so people aren't even as aware of small people problems, as well as it being way more acceptable for bigger people to claim bullying against them and talk about it and how it makes them feel as opposed to smaller people, so you have not only bullies bashing thin people, but everyday citizens, and friends and family members, and instead of people standing up against that for someone like you would with the bigger side, most people would join in with the smaller side, as society acts like it's no big deal), it still wouldn't be ok to say "I'm not going to feel bad for you because you are still privileged". I would NEVER act like because there's more skinny bashing, that meant that I would not take fat bashing seriously. By their definition, I have fat privilege because I never get messed with about my weight since I've been bigger, and if anyone comments at all, it's that I look healthy or hot and curvy.

The whole "privilege" thing is stupid to begin with, as it takes all people of all sides and throws them into a pot and assumes about them just based on one thing and acts like they are the same unit who have had the same advantages and disadvantages.  Everyone has privilege over everyone else, and thus it is stupid to assume, especially since you don't know how someone grew up and what experiences they have had. Some skinny people would be more privileged than some big people, some big people more than some skinny, some skinny more than some other skinny, and some big more than some big. Some people would happen to be around more accepting and kind people, ad vice versa. You can't just look at something and assume. That's prejudice and stereotyping. In any other context, if you were assuming something or someone's life or someone's experiences or advantages or disadvantages because of something about them such as their weight, skin color, sex, country etc. you'd be labelled as a bigot, but with the guise of "privilege" it gets accepted. I am a feminist and I would never tell men to "check their privilege" because I wouldn't know what types of privileges or non-privileges the men I am talking to have gone through. They may have been raised by feminist parents who told them how the world is for all I know and grew up with less privileges than other men who were given more for being men by people who weren't that feminist. They may have lived more off-the-grid than other people to where they weren't exposed to the media stereotypes and all of that. I would be assuming just because they are men, and that is sexist. Just because there may be general privileges embedded in our culture doesn't mean everyone of a group benefits from them or that you can assume it based on that they are that something. If statistics show that most men get better jobs because people are still sexist against women that way, that doesn't mean ALL men do and would have that privilege, it just means they have a better chance at it. In fact, if it shows it is any less than 100%, that's proof that not all people of some thing have that privilege and you can't assume it. Really, shouting privilege should only come into play with those jerks that say stuff like "Oh women have always had it good! It's just a myth that they haven't. If anything, MEN are the ones who have disadvantages and sexism thrown at them." Then by all means, correct the person. After all, it should be clear that I'm not saying "privilege"  totally doesn't exist, just not nearly in the way people use it. So yeah if some skinny person is shooting their mouth off about how no fat people have problems, or only skinny people do, correct them, but it's just sad that we live in a world full of double-standards where so many people do this the other way, and it's perfectly acceptable. It's just as stupid to say no skinny people have problems, only big people do, or to blow it off and act like it's not a big deal or not really a problem or bashing, or make excuses for it.

Oh and there are TONS of skinny people who are naturally skinny, and HEALTHY that way, who didn't starve themselves and whatnot, some of whom try and eat a lot but they can't gain any weight and they find that really annoying, so DON'T be stupid enough to assume most skinny people are only skinny because they tried to be skinny or want to be skinny or they have some sort of eating disorder, because there are LOTS of ways you can be naturally thin, and some don't even want to be thin because it's looked at as so bad in this day and age, or they don't feel comfortable in their own skin, or this or that or the other.

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